We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
