so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
