You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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