yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize