Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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