What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
