Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
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I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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