hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize