I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
