and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
