gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
