Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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