Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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