I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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