they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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