dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
