if you like me you must not know who I am
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
