There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
