dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You need a sexual gate keeper
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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