I think I died a long time ago.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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