I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
