It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children