Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
