Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
