you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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