Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
