wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
