Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The uberlube is also flammable
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
