i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
