We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
