i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
