Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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