I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.