I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
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What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.