I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
