The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
