so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
