I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This toilet bowl is my home.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize