Banned from zoo.
Again?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
