You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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