thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
