ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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