Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
