I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
