actually, I'm a sock model
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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