My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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