Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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