are you so shy because you have an std?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
