Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
