I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
