On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
