Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
