i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
