bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
