She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
