after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
