Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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