i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
