Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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