Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize