I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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