all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
