On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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