I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize