My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize