oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just had sex bonerless
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
