weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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